


I know exactly what I'm feeling

by Aaaalexxx_Dddanversss



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Bring Maggie Back, F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Sanvers deserves better, Sanvers gets the happy ending they deserve, Sanvers matters, Season 3 is a mess, how it should've gone, maggie matters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-06
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-07 20:05:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15915312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aaaalexxx_Dddanversss/pseuds/Aaaalexxx_Dddanversss
Summary: Alex makes a list.She hates herself for even considering to break up with Maggie, but she has to think about it, right?





	I know exactly what I'm feeling

**Author's Note:**

> This is really short and also probably not one of the best things I ever wrote, but I got emotional over Sanvers, so here's what came out of it.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it anyway

The day after Ruby's school play, where Alex had been crying on her sister's shoulder, because the love of her life did not want to have children, she made a list.

It was a pro contra list about the possibility of breaking up with her, and she hated herself for even thinking about it.

That was Maggie after all. The woman who helped her accept herself, who she loved more than anybody else, who she was getting married to.

Maybe getting married.

She started with the pro.

1\. I want kids, Maggie doesn't 

That much was obvious. And it was an important reason. She really wanted to be a Mum, but while she was dating Maggie that dream might never become reality.

She started tearing up again, but forced herself to keep writing

2\. Maybe there is somebody out there who wants children and who I could be happy with as well

It was a stupid point. She knew there could never be somebody she would love more than Maggie. But then she remembered she didn't need to be with somebody at all. All she wanted was a kid.

3\. It is possible being a single mum. Sam does it and she's happy.

Sam didn't work for a secret government agency like she did, but there had to be a way to make it work.

Alex tried finding more reasons, but she couldn't, so she continued with the contra.

Now she didn't even have to try and think of something, it went completely automatical. 

Her work was gonna be a problem and to be honest she wasn't that thrilled to raise a child all on her own.  
She didn't want to date anybody else.  
Because Maggie made her happier than she had ever been in her entire life. 

She was the one that finally, after all those years showed her it was okay to be herself. 

Alex didn't want to imagine a life without waking up next to her every morning, without kissing her, without getting to see her, to talk to her.

So she took a deep breath and wrote down the one thing that was so much more important than anything else.  
   
 *I love her*

She wouldn't break up with her. Even if she tried to, she didn't think she could ever utter those words. And she didn't want to.

If the only way to be with Maggie was to give up on ever having kids, then so be it. It would get difficult because of her work anyway.

Alex could live without children, but without Maggie? No, that was not something she could ever be okay with.

Throughout her whole life she had always thought of people prioritizing a relationship over what they wanted as ridiculous.   
She had never understood how one person could possibly make that big of a difference.

But now, when she thought about Maggie, how she had always been there for her, how soft her voice got when she said 'I love you' ,how strong and full of love she was despite her experiences when coming out, she understood. It made all of the difference.

Yes, she wanted kids, but she wanted her more.  
And yes, she loved the idea of being a Mum, but she could never love it as much as she loved Maggie.

When she heard footsteps approaching she tore the list in small pieces and dumped them in the garbage can.

A few moments later her fianceé opened the appartment door and greeted her with a kiss.

"I love you so much", Alex blurted out "Don't you ever forget about that"

"Well, how could I?", Maggie asked smiling "Good thing I love you just as much"

Yes, that had definitely been the right choice


End file.
